Updated: Oct 7, 2022
Confidence is something that you were born with. It’s something that each and every one of us came into this world with. We ooze confidence as children. As the years go by, society, experiences, things that we do and the responses that we get affect how we feel about ourselves. Our self-belief can get hacked at by those we love and strangers who don’t mean a thing to us. It doesn’t take much to knock our confidence as we grow up, other people’s opinions can quickly become our internal story and we learn that it’s safer to just keep quiet and not be seen for who we truly are. Here’s the thing, every ounce of confidence that would love to have is within you right now. It is down to you to recognise that, believe in that and nurture that essence within you. Here are the quick and simple ways that you can begin to inject to more confidence into yourself and begin to unleash that self-belief: Begin to increase your confidence and self-belief. So, one thing to start paying close attention to is the stories are you saying to yourself and the kind of self identity that you’re drilling in. Are you saying “I’m just not a confident person” or “I’m a shy person”, or “I don’t believe in myself” or “ I would love to try that, but I just couldn’t”. If that’s the kind of language you are repeating to yourself regularly, your actions, your behaviours, and the way that you feel is going to manifest more of that within you. Whatever you think to yourself triggers your emotions that will then affect your behaviours. So if you say “I just haven’t got the confidence to ask that person on a date or to go for that new job” guess what your behaviour will be? Or should we say won’t be! You simply won’t take the action. You will always do what you believe to be true. Your thought’s much match what you desire.
Start to change what you say to yourself, here’s an example…”I may not feel comfortable asking that person on a date or going for that new job, but I am going to go for it anyway”. Take the action and the confidence and self-belief will follow. The more you prove to yourself you can and you will, the more you will begin to see yourself as someone who IS confident. Your self-belief will truly awaken. Think back to a time in your life when you have had confidence. There will be an area of your life where you feel confident doing what you’re doing.
It may be cooking, jogging, at work, reading your kids a bed time story, speaking to a close friend. Think about how you feel when you are confidently doing that thing. What makes you confident in doing it? Is it that you know what you’re doing step by step and that you’ve got real clarity on how to do it that helps you to feel confident? Is it that you’ve practiced it enough times that you feel confident doing it? Think about what it is that makes you feel confident, then model that in other areas of your life. If practice is the thing for you, know that the more times you do something, the more your confidence will grow. Therefore, patience with yourself will really help. If confidence isn’t something that you have any memory of ever being, think of someone you know or the people you came across before in your life who seem confident. What is it about them that makes you think they are confident—is it because they smile a lot, is it because they seemed really confident in their knowledge with what they’re doing? Then try modelling that behaviour. Find what works for you, but just know that there’s no magic pill, know that it is within you right now and you have the ability to awaken it, you have the ability to put into practice what confidence means to you, refine it, model it whether it’s from your past or the people you know and the more you do it, the stronger it gets, it’s a form resilience.
Your confidence to believe that whatever you get thrown your way, you can deal with, that comes from within. A friend can say “you’ve got this!!!” all day long, but the most powerful voice comes from within. The voice that commands you, holds the most power. Be kind to yourself, believe that you have all you need within you right now and know that it is your birth right to be your authentic, confident self.